Pellinor Stuff
by decemberclementine1999
Summary: Just a smattering of oneshots! Contains spoilers so please be careful not to ruin the series for yourself... I hope you enjoy!
1. Hopeless

Cadvan sat and prodded the fire with a twisted metal poker, trying to get some heat from it. Not that he really cared anymore; it was more out of habit. He hated himself, he hated life. But he deserved the punishment was continuing, and needed to redeem himself by trying to preserve the goodness that was once the Light in Annar. Every time he had ever loved anyone he had killed them. First Ceredin, then Mae- but he hadn't truly loved Maerad, had he? Not like that, at least. Surely not? She was right (she _had_ to be right), he had been using her. Using her and loving her because she was the last hope of the light. The last final chance to prevent the rise of evil. But, sometimes, he had felt something more. Dancing in Busk, he had seen her as a young girl, happy, and trying to lose the strain and stress that her life comprised of. Sailing from Thorald to Annar his heart had fluttered when he saw her, bathed in moonlight, hair billowing; there had been nothing he wanted to do more than take her in his arms and hold her there, safe from the outside world. And yes, even when he first saw her, one of the first thing he had noticed was how astounding her features were underneath the grime. When he saw her fall…

_I should have gone, I should have gone back for her. _The same thought had plagued him in the last weeks since her death. His feelings were complicated_. I loved her._ He admitted to himself;_ I loved her and she never knew. I hid it from her, and replaced it with cold. _But when she had killed that innocent man outside Lirigon, he had grown scared. Scared that she was a monster. Scared that he loved a monster. Scared in case Enkir was right about them. When all that she had really needed was love, and help, and guidance, he had been selfish. Selfish yet fair. Fair, yet unwise.

Maerad in Rachida. Maerad moaning after a night on the ground. Maerad singing with him in Innail, Maerad saving him from the Landrost. Maerad when she thought she was bleeding to death. Maerad's hands on the lyre. Maerad and the Elementals. Singing to the Stormdog. Maerad listening attentively to Ankil. Maerad turning the hull into a rabbit. Maerad laughing with him by the camp fire. Maerad with Hem. Maerad and the wight. Maerad the Unpredictable.

She surrounded him. She was there in his dreams, in the music, in the trees, in these god-forsaken ruins. The flickering hope Ardina gave him when she said to come here if all was well. Maerad had filled a gap in his life left by Ceredin he hadn't even realised existed.

Tears prickled Cadvan's eyes, and he brushed a cascading lock of dark hair off his brow, and looked at Darsor, despairingly.

_You have done all you can._ Darsor said in the speech._ She is gone. We should leave tomorrow._

_Agreed. I … I don't know Darsor. I guess from here we head South to Innail, which we know to be loyal. _Cadvan replied.

Desperation that had been quenched with realism.

A traitorous droplet slid down his cheek.


	2. The Remnants of a Song

Cadvan smiled to himself as he looked out of the frost glazed window, taking in the view across the school of Innail. It was already early night-time. He hadn't seen much of Maerad all day, as he had been in the library, and she had gone out into the vale with Silvia. The silken notes of a lone violin pealed joyously through the cold air. A young couple could be heard laughing down in the street and the star-light bathed the town in silver. Cadvan pulled a small harp from the corner and sat it upon his lap. Ever since the singing seven weeks ago, the tree song had been haunting him. Try though he might, he couldn't capture the essence. Sometimes he would play a chord, with the same pitches and intervals as that which Maerad and Hem had attained, but it no longer resonated with the same, pure, natural, truth. But that wouldn't stop him, he felt that the treesong as the root of life, should be played everywhere to give life meaning, although it truly belonged to the Elidhu. He heard a tentative knock at the door.

"Who is it?" He called.

"Maerad." She responded. Ever since he had kissed her, they hadn't gone much further. He and she were both content (for the meanwhile) that they loved each other, and that was what truly mattered. Plus, after what Maerad had been through it would be wrong to pressure her in any way.

"Come in!" She entered, curious. Although it was seven weeks since the singing, the strains of it and her crazed march with no sleep or food had left her pale, exhausted and thin. "How was your day, darling?" he enquired.

"It was lovely. I missed you though. I've never been in your rooms before!"

Cadvan eyed the scrolls left everywhere and random objects all over the place, and raised an eyebrow. "Lucky you." Maerad snorted. She had a small harp on her back, and was wearing a white cotton night slip. The harp was new, and was a type called a clarsach, native to the region of Lirigon. She was picking it up quickly, in spite of her missing fingers.

"I was wondering," she began, grinning at him, "if we could maybe sing together?"

"Well; I don't see why not. What would you like to sing?"

"What about the lay we sang at the meet, the first song we ever sang together. The lay of Andume and Beruldh?" she suggested. "I've been learning the chords on this, although I have to change a lot of levers, it is possible. Please?." She said, indicating to the metal pegs which when lifted and put down changed the pitch of the string.

"Deal" Cadvan whispered, leaning over to tuck some stray hair behind her ear with his long and nimble fingers. She placed a hand on his scarred cheek, and he kissed her forehead, before pulling her into his chest. "I love you, Maerad." He mumbled into her hair. She looked into his deep blue eyes and smiled, then kissed him mischievously on the lips before quickly changing some levers and playing a minor seventh chord. "Shall we begin?"

Cadvan laughed, "Yes, Lady Maerad; thine wish is my command."

And together they burst into music.

Later, they lay next to each other on top of the covers holding hands. Cadvan idly fiddled her onyx hair. Maerad frowned as she looked out at the stars.

"Cadvan?" she whispered.

"Mm?"

"remember on the boat, after leaving Thorold. Before the storm-dog?"

"Yes" Cadvan propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her.

"You said I looked like the Lady Ardina. It's just, I know this is stupid, but… never mind."

Cadvan was concerned, he stroked the lines out of her forehead.

"Darling, if it matters to you it matters to me." He said firmly.

"It's just, I'm only really two-thirds me now. And are you sure you don't love the Elidhu bit, not the bard or person?" Tears threatened to escape her large, corn-flower eyes.

"Don't be silly. I loved and still love every single part of you. I was always wary of your Elidhu side because of your powers… But that is behind us. I adore every tiny bit of you from this-" Cadvan tapped the beauty spot on her right cheek. "Or this." And he kissed the scars on her maimed hand.

"I love you too." She whispered. Cadvan rolled himself over so he was lying practically on top of her.

He kissed her on her jawline and she stroked down his back. He brought his lips to hers, and she nibbled tentatively on his.

"Always." Cadvan murmured. Maerad pulled him into a tight embrace and doused his neck in dragonfly kisses.

"Always" she replied.

And Cadvan realised he didn't need to find the tree-song, as he already had his own part. Their love was as beautiful and perfect as it, if not more, and would remain so long after they were both gone.


	3. Hekibel

Hekibel yawned and stretched like a cat. She shrugged the blankets off, and stood up. Saliman was still asleep, snoring softly. She walked through to the kitchen area, and lit the fire. There was still some water left in the kettle, so she hung it above the fire, and waited lazily for it to boil.

She found a ribbon and pulled her long, golden tawny hair into a pony-tail. It wasn't long until a low rumble filled the room, and she poured some of the Suderainian coffee into mugs for her and Saliman. They had been married for four years now, and had a two year-old daughter, with light brown skin and amber eyes, which glowed with the happiness with which she had been conceived. Alanna was still asleep, so Hekibel went back into her bedroom.

"Saliman? Here, wake up. I have some coffee?" He groaned and opened his eyes.

"Bel, you truly are an angel." He murmured. Turbanskian sun flowed through the window behind her, illuminating her hair and making the room glow with a honey-coloured light. They were among the thousands who had chosen to rebuild Turbansk and return.

"But," he began "I don't want the coffee." Hekibel raised a cynical eyebrow. She knew how much Saliman loved the drink.

"How could I want for anything when I have you?" Saliman exclaimed. Hekibel laughed and placed the coffee on the bedside table. "Such a player." She mumbled jokingly.

"Me? The last time I checked, _you_ were the player!" he chuckled.

Hekibel climbed back into to bed and kissed him gently on the cheek, and snuggled up under his arm.

"Is Alanna asleep?" he enquired.

"Sound asleep."

"Good." He stated and smiled at her mischievously. Hekibel laughed at him and rolled over. Their mouths met each other, at first softly, but their kiss deepened. Saliman rolled her linen night shirt up from her thighs over her head, and Hekibel took of his under clothes. They started to move together more passionately, Hekibel nibbled his ear and Saliman ran his hands down her back. Suddenly, Saliman shoved her off him and sat up straight. He grabbed his coffee and started to drink it, eyes sparkling. "Saliman!" Hekibel yelled. "What was that about?"

"I was thinking." He began, and spluttered "And I realised that I got my priorities mixed up. I don't want you, I want coffee." Hekibel joined him in his laughing, and punched him playfully on the arm.

"Sometimes I wonder why I married you!" she joked. They kept laughing until Hekibel snatched his mug and put it on her side. She pinned Saliman to the mattress, and he kept laughing.

"I think I'm just going to have to change your priorities back again" she murmured as she leant down to kiss him.


	4. Reunited 1

Cadvan watched and listened carefully as Maerad recounted what had happened to her since they were separated at Gwalhain Pass. He kept his eyes intently focused on hers, at points he was shocked by what she told him, and at others his heart swelled with pride and some other ambiguous emotion. When she had turned back into her human form he was so blissfully happy he couldn't believe it She ran into his arms and he was so surprised that when he returned the gesture, his heart was full of-

No; no. He mustn't think of her like that. He had only realised the depth of his emotions when she had saved Owen and him on their run from Thorold. It had been present for a long time, though. Maybe when she had spoken to Ardina in the Weywood. She had transformed into something ethereal, so bursting with benevolent light.

As Maerad concluded her tale they sat in silence for a moment. _She loves Arkan._ He thought to himself. In comparison with the might and majesty of the Elidhu, Cadvan could be nothing. He began to relate what had happened to him in her absence. When he halted, he carelessly placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her into a tender caress. She tensed, but then visibly relaxed. Cadvan withdrew. _By the light; what am I doing? I must stop at once! _

Maerad looked up and smiled tentatively, "I'm just so glad, so thankful, to be here, I mean; to be here with you." Without warning a tear escaped her eye, and she let out small, coked sobs.

"Maerad; Maerad, Maerad. Hush…" Cadvan leant over and brushed her tears from her cheeks. "It's all okay now. I'm here, Darsor's here, Imi's with the Pilanel and you have half of the treesong!"

"But, but h-how can that be good? I've had it all along and I still have no clue whatsoever as to where the other half s. My brother is probably dead, slaughtered amongst the ruins of Turbansk. All of this rests on me, and I can't, I can't, I'm incapable:- and how am I supposed to play with my hand like this?"

Cadvan's heart quivered, and he moved closer to her, Maerad's hair stuck to her wet face. He pulled it away and tucked it beneath her ear. He said, "Maerad, look at me. Look at me!" He tilted her chin up with the edge of his index finger knuckle, so her large blue eyes were gazing directly into his. In a soft tone he half-spoke half-whispered-

"Light will prevail. Do you know why?"

She shook her head.

"Light will always succeed- because of love."

"But what of love of hatred, of lust for destruction and death?" Maerad bitterly questioned.

"That is not true love." Cadvan shortly replied. Maerad opened her mouth to question, but he gently pressed his finger against her lips to shush her.

Maerad made to stand up. "I haven't got any blankets with me." She stated.

"I'll take first watch." Cadvan offered and so he did.

In the dead quiet that accompanies the middle of the night, Cadvan knelt besides a sleeping Maerad. He cautiously stroked her hair, and tidied it off her face. She muttered nonsense syllables in her sleep. "Oh Maerad, dearest, darling Maerad; how glad I am that you are hear. I am so tremendously sorry for those awful days before we lost each other. I was so confused." Cadvan mumbled, fumbling for words. I was so mixed up. I don't want to offer you false empathy, for I do not yet truly understand you or your powers. But I, after much thought, understand why you did what you did. And although I don't altogether understand you I-"

Maerad rolled over so she was facing Cadvan in her sleep. His pulse thudded in his throat, and he shook. He really ought to have stopped, but he couldn't; he needed this off his chest. "I, umm, I will try to, I promise; and if you could help me… The thing my fire-lily, I; I think I-"

The corners of the chosen one's mouth twitched upwards. "Wait- are you awake?! Maerad!"

Smiling, she opened her eyes and suddenly grasped his shoulder and pulled him down, so he was lying facing her. Her eyes glinted in the moonlight, her hair cascading about her, and she leant forwards and kissed him full on the mouth. He, at first shocked, returned the kiss with fervour. When she pulled back for air, he released one of his rare, brilliant smiles. Adopting a serious tone and expression Maerad spoke- "Well, kind sir, are you not going to continue?" In spite of himself Cadvan blushed and Maerad laughed softly.

"I was about to confess something." She nodded for him to continue. "I, I, I know where you are ticklish!" and with that he launched into an attack, her giggles mingling with her protests, becoming indistinguishable.

Later, as she lay dormant in his arms, Cadvan picked up her injured hand and brushed the healing wound with his lips. "I confess, Maerad of Pellinor" he whispered into the dark, "that I am completely in love with you."


End file.
